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Temper Tantrums

Quotes from Feb 2000:
Could someone help me? How do you discipline a child that has got in the habit of throwing temper tantrums, when she doesn't get her way?
Well, why doesn't she get her way?
Exactly. Classic TCS.
What is it that she wants? How does it conflict with what you want? How could you create a situation that worked for both of you?
Unfortunately, this does not answer the question. The poster did not ask how to find a solution. He asked how to discipline his child. He's already decided A) they aren't both going to get what they want B) whose going to lose out.

It has not occurred to him that, say, he could be mistaken about whether temper tantrums are good or bad. Or whether "discipline" (punishment) is good or bad. Or that there is a truth of the matter about how they should proceed, which he and his child disagree about, and that they should try to find out what this truth is.
It's becoming a common practice for my daughter to fallout wherever she is(public, home or daycare), which is very embarrassing. HELP!
His daughter is greatly upset, and his concern is his own embarrassment?

His daughter is being hurt frequently, and he wants help for himself?
Help her get what she wants. If you just crush the behavior, she may be less embarrassing, but won't be any more happy. Get rid of the problem, not the symptom of it..
The idea that "tantrums" have reasons or problems behind them is rare.

The whole point of calling it a temper tantrum is to deny the child is using reason in any way. And to deny the child is expressing a preference or want of any kind. It's to deny the child exists at all. All that exists is the temper, the genes, the childishness, the parent's embarrassment, and so on.

Elliot Temple on August 8, 2009

Comments (1)

"His daughter is greatly upset, and his concern is his own embarrassment?
His daughter is being hurt frequently, and he wants help for himself?"

Of course he should be concerned with himself. Selfishness is good.

Anonymous at 4:56 AM on September 2, 2009 | #1897

What do you think?

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