backbone, pushback, standing up for your ideas

you need to be sturdy to do well here or anywhere. don’t be pushed around or controlled by people who weren’t even trying to push you around, because you’re so weak and fragile almost anything can boss you around without even try.

broadly:

people give advice, ideas, criticism, etc.

some can help you right now. some of it, you don’t understand, you don’t get it, it doesn’t work for you right now. you could ask a question or follow up and then maybe get more advice so it does work, but you still might not get it. it’s good to follow up some sometimes, but that’s another topic.

the point is: you must use your own judgement about which ideas work for you. what do you understand? what makes sense to you?

filter all the ideas/advice/crit/etc in that way. sort it into two categories.

category 1: do you get it, yourself, in your own understanding, well enough to use it? are you ready to use it as your own idea, that is yours, that you feel ownership of, and you take full responsibility for the outcome? would you still use it even if the guy who said it changed his mind (but didn’t tell you why), because it’s now the best idea in your own mind?

category 2: you don’t get it. maybe you partly get it. but not fully. not enough to live it without ever reading FI again, with no followup help. you don’t understand it enough to adapt it when problems come up or the situation changes. you have ideas in your mind which conflict with it. it isn’t natural to you. it feels like someone else’s idea, not yours. maybe you could try doing their advice, but it wouldn’t be your own action.

NEVER EVER EVER PROCEED WITH CATEGORY 2 IDEAS.

if you only use category 1, you’re easy to help and safe to talk to. if you use category 2, you are sabotaging progress and being hard to deal with.

Elliot Temple
www.fallibleideas.com