i want my partner to be more Autonomy Respecting in our Relationship.
well, there's 5000 posts at the ARR Yahoo Group.
they can read them, discuss on FI, and become ARR.
but they won't do that!!!!
well then ATD.
no, they're so great, we can make it work.
umm how? if they don't wanna reason, how is stuff gonna work?
well you tell me, mrs. fancypants guide author.
if you want a contradiction, too bad. a guide can't help.
can't i just like be ARR myself and tell them a few things like i'm gonna have my own room now and don't be a needy helpless dependent bitch? and if i don't follow all my socially expected roles, get over it.
they might put up with that, for now, if it seems like they can't negotiate a better deal and don't want to find someone else yet. but why would they like and appreciate that? aren't you just kinda burning good will? even if they say it's fine, why would it be? it's not what they signed up for and they haven't rationally learned better ideas. they are just compromising.
no they totally understand, cuz i told them ARR, even tho they won't read it or discuss it properly.
no.
yes.
no.
yes way.
look, even if they wanted to disagree with you, most people don't know how to argue back any of the stuff you're saying. and if they do agree but don't know any rational arguments, they won't know how to express it. just cuz someone says they agree and seems to go along with stuff doesn't mean much because the same people who won't discuss it on FI also lack the skills to express/get what they want IRL.
so we're doomed?
yup.
doom and gloom? pessimism? sadness for eternity?
uhh, anyone who genuinely wants to think has that option. for those who don't, yeah it's grim. this isn't a negative view. it's quite a nice situation. choose life, choose reason, and you're fine.
If you need some help with that, besides FI, read Ayn Rand.